What this page will help with
- What to do in your first days in the NICU
- Who to talk to and what to ask
- Where to find support and information
- How to support your partner and yourself
- When and where to seek professional help
Feeling overwhelmed or unsure is normal. This page is here to give you a clear path—no pressure, one step at a time.
Step 1: Take a breath
It’s normal to feel overwhelmed. The NICU is busy and unfamiliar. Give yourself permission to take things one step at a time.
Step 2: Introduce yourself to the team
Let the nurses and doctors know you’re the dad and that you want to be involved. Ask who your baby’s main nurse is and when rounds or handovers happen so you can be there when it helps.
Step 3: Ask one or two questions each visit
You don’t have to understand everything at once. Write down one or two questions before each visit (e.g. “How is his breathing today?” or “When can we try a cuddle?”) and ask the nurse or doctor. Use our questions to ask staff guide if you’re stuck.
Step 4: Get the basics in place
Find out about visiting hours, how many people can be at the cot, and what you can do (nappy changes, temperature, skin-to-skin when it’s allowed). Small, practical tasks can help you feel useful and connected.
Step 5: Look after yourself and your partner
Rest, eat, and talk to someone you trust. NICU is a marathon. Use our emotional support guide and support contacts when you need them.
Common mistakes
Trying to do or understand everything in one day; not asking questions because you don’t want to bother staff; neglecting sleep and food. Small, steady steps and asking for help are better.
When to seek professional help
If you’re struggling with anxiety, low mood, or feeling unable to cope, talk to your GP or a mental health professional. Many hospitals also have family support or psychology teams—ask at the desk. See Further Help for contacts.
Last updated: February 2026