What you'll learn
- A simple visit checklist
- Questions to ask the nurse or doctor
- Ways to support your partner and stay organised
Visit checklist
Use this as a quick reminder before or during a visit. Adjust to what your unit allows.
- Wash hands (and use hand gel when asked)
- Ask the nurse: “How has he/she been since I was last in?”
- Ask one or two questions you wrote down (see below)
- Do something hands-on if you can: nappy change, temperature, or just holding a hand
- Spend a few minutes just being there—you don’t have to “do” something every time
- Check in with your partner: how are they, what do they need?
Questions to ask staff
Pick one or two per visit so you don’t feel overwhelmed. Staff are used to parents asking.
About your baby
- How is his/her breathing today?
- How are his/her feeds going?
- Has his/her weight changed?
- When might we try skin-to-skin / a cuddle?
- What’s the next milestone we’re aiming for (e.g. coming off CPAP, full feeds)?
About the NICU
- Who is his/her main nurse today?
- When are rounds / handover so I can be here if possible?
- Is there anything I can do to help during the visit?
Routines that help
Write down questions – Keep a note on your phone or in the TinySteps app so you don’t forget.
Share the load with your partner – Take turns visiting if you can, or one visits while the other rests. Talk about what each of you needs.
Rest and eat – You’re no use to anyone run into the ground. Sleep, meals, and short breaks matter.
Common mistakes
Asking too many questions in one go (staff are busy); not writing questions down and forgetting; neglecting your own rest and your partner’s needs.
Last updated: February 2025